The hardest part about aging is undoubtedly watching your parents age right alongside you. At some point, they may not be able to live on their own anymore, and then what?
Well, you have a few options, one is moving your parents into a home. But these can be expensive and make it difficult to spend time with your parents in their final years. The other alternative is to arrange to have your parents move into your home and care for them yourself.
If you have chosen the second option, you aren’t alone, and there are many resources for those who choose to place their elderly parents in their own homes. Read on to discover our 10 tips for caring for elderly parents in your home.
10 Tips For When You Choose to Care for Elderly Parents in Your Home
1. Make Sure Your Home is Safe for Seniors
There are many aspects of your house that could be dangerous for your elderly parents that you don’t even think about. Do you have a ground-floor bedroom your parents can stay in? If not, how will they make it up the stairs? Stair chairs or other lifting devices can be installed to help.
Additionally, take a look at the bathroom. Are their rugs in place so they can’t slip? Can your parents directly walk into your shower, or will they need something to help them step over the tub rim? It’s important to think of all these things before your parents move in rather than scrambling once they are already there.
2. Create a Medication Plan
Chances are, if your parents are moving in with you, they likely have some medications that will need to be dispensed. You will need to plan a safe place to store these medications, which is away from children and pets, especially if they are powerful painkillers or dangerous drugs.
Many choose to install a locking cabinet for medications like morphine and lithium and only allow adults and caregivers to have the combination. If the medication must be given by needle, ensure you are stocked with sharps containers and know how to dispose of them when you are finished.
You should also set up a scheduling system to notify you when dosages should be given. If you are planning to hire some kind of at-home care for seniors, ensure they can also access the schedule and mark off when doses are given to avoid overdoses. Ensure the caregiver or nurse is also informed of the needle disposal program.
3. Make an Appointment Plan
Besides just planning how you will store and dispense medication, you will also need to have a calendar for all of your parent’s appointments. Will a nurse come to your home? Or will you be driving them to their appointments?
It is unlikely that you will be able to attend every appointment with them. It’s important to have open lines of communication with your parents’ doctors, especially if your parents are struggling with a condition like dementia or Alzheimer’s. If you are planning to use a company that offers home help for seniors, ensure they are also informed of your parent’s calendar and how to input new appointments.
A good idea is to use a program like Google Calendars, which can be accessed digitally by anyone who cares for your parents as well as you and your partner. Some doctors may even be willing to look at the calendar on your parent’s behalf when suggesting appointments.
4. Plan Healthy Meals
Now that your kids are out of the house, you might have started bringing home takeout some nights of the week or eating a quick TV dinner. With elderly parents in the home, it’s important to keep your fridge stocked with healthy meals and try to cook at home whenever possible.
This is because your parents’ dietary needs change as they age, as do their eating habits. You’ll need to watch for signs that your parents aren’t chewing food as well as they used to or are having difficulty swallowing.
Cooking every night can be challenging, so it may be worthwhile to join a home meal delivery plan or speak with a dietician if you are struggling to come up with meals. If you notice your parents are having difficulty eating or losing weight, you will want to speak with their doctor as soon as possible.
5. Keep Your Parents Active
If they are still healthy enough to move, encourage your parents to do so whenever possible. Plan evening walks through the neighborhood or gardening in your backyard. You can also encourage light stretching or Tai Chi.
If your parents aren’t able to walk well, you may want to look into some walking aids to help them get their freedom back. You may also want to consider hiring a physical therapist to come to your home to help your parents stay in shape to the best of their abilities.
Don’t forget to plan weekend activities like a trip to the local botanic garden or a tea at a local coffee shop. These can go a long way toward keeping your parents mentally happy and healthy.
6. Don’t Let Yourself Become Isolated
Caring for elderly parents is hard, and you’ll quickly find much of your social time doing toward their care. Don’t let yourself become isolated. Continue to plan fun events and dinners with friends.
Don’t be afraid to continue to plan events in your home, and if you and your partner both want to attend an event, there are babysitters who provide in-home care for the elderly that can be hired for the night if your parents can’t be left alone or need medication dispensed.
It is also a good idea to join support groups with others who are caring for their aging parents. They can suggest babysitters, connect you with resources, or just provide a sympathetic ear after a rough day. Many of these support groups can be found on Facebook and MeetUp.
7. Hire Help
Even if you think you are Superwoman or Superman, you will need help at some point. Caring for elderly parents is difficult and time-consuming. We recommend hiring a variety of help when caring for your parents in your home, and there are many companies that provide home help for seniors.
First and foremost, find a company that provides at-home care for seniors and see what their various options for care are. If your parent is still mobile and mentally cognate, it might be enough to have an assistant come twice a week just to help with appointments and household tasks like laundry.
Many at-home care for seniors companies are subsidized by the government, and you may be able to be reimbursed for some of your parent’s care, especially if they are on Medicaid or Medicare.
For those with parents who need more help, having an at-home nurse come once or twice per week can really pay off. If there aren’t many options in your area, consider hiring a maid or a meal prepper to take a load off your plate so you can focus on the care aspect.
Additionally, you’ll want to have an emergency plan. Who can come by the house if something happens with Mom while you are in a meeting? Enlist neighbors or friends who can be on call in the case something happens and you can’t get there quickly. Leave these phone numbers visible so helpers can call them if needed as well.
8. Discuss the Care Plan With Family and Ask for Help
Whether you are an only child or have numerous brothers and sisters, you aren’t the only one who cares for your parents. Involve the entire family in the care of your parents.
Maybe your partner can care for them one night a week and give you the night off. Or you could have the grandkids come every Saturday to help entertain the parents. Also, keep your parents’ siblings and friends in mind. Even if your parents are wheelchair-bound, their friends may not be and may be willing to take them for a walk from time to time.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, never be afraid to ask for help. Friends and family will always be there to support you no matter what.
9. Keep an Eye on Mental Health
It might seem easy to put your parents in front of the TV to keep the pressure off yourself, but it’s important to keep your aging parents mentally engaged.
Consider picking up books or audiobooks from the library or purchasing them an audible subscription. You can also download games for them to play on an iPad or grab them a crossword book. You should also encourage them to remain socially connected, whether that means calling friends or taking them to social events.
If you notice any change in your parent’s cognitive abilities, it is important to speak with a doctor right away, as more help or care may be needed.
10. Consider Transportation
When your parents move in with you, it is unlikely they will be able to drive, and they also may have difficulty climbing in and out of your car. It may be time to swap your current car for one lower to the ground that they can get in and out of.
Additionally, if they are in a wheelchair or use another sort of assisted device, you’ll want to ensure there is room for this in your vehicle as well.
If you cannot find a safe way for your parents to be transported in your car, contact a senior transportation company to see if they can help get your parents to and from their doctor’s appointments.
Overall, caring for aging parents isn’t easy, but you AREN’T alone. When you find yourself struggling, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if you don’t know a service that can help, someone in your network probably does, and all you have to do is ask! There are many programs out there that provide in-home care for elderly parents. You just need to find them.
For more information, check out our list of Resources for Caring for Aging Parents.
