As we age, it is inevitable that we will lose someone important to us. Whether that is a parent, sibling, or a partner, the grieving process isn’t easy. It is especially difficult during the holidays when you find yourself alone and missing the traditions you used to have with the person who has passed on.
We’ve been there. We know how hard this loss is. Keep reading to learn some tips and tricks for dealing with loss during the holiday season.
Learning to Cope with Grief
Coping with grief is a challenge that becomes even more difficult and prevalent during the holidays. Before we can offer some tips for dealing with the holidays, it’s important to cover some things that can help you deal with the overwhelming grief associated with loss.
1. Don’t Ignore or Hide the Pain
Despite common belief, the pain associated with loss will not go away faster if you ignore it. Take the time to feel your grief, whether that means crying or talking about it with others.
It is also important that you work to do all the tasks associated with your grief, such as going through a loved one’s things or settling their estate. Although it will hurt, you will not be able to finish the grieving process until you do these tasks.
2. There is No Grieving Time Limit
Don’t listen to anyone when they tell you that you should be done grieving by now. Your grief is different from anyone else’s, and you can take all the time you need to heal. Your true friends will understand and will remain by your side through the entire grieving process, even if it takes years.
3. Seek Help
Grieving is unbearable alone. Seek help from others, whether that is counseling sessions or a grief support group. If you keep trying to face your grief alone, you won’t ever learn how to deal with it properly.
For help dealing with grief, take a look at the Debra website, which can direct you to resources depending on your specific loss.
8 Tips Dealing for Dealing With Loss During the Holidays
Now, even though grief isn’t just limited to the holidays, it can seem the most suffocating during the season. You know you should be happy, but you just can’t be without your loved one. Here are some tips for managing your grief during the holidays.
1. Be Kind to Yourself
You are human; you are not perfect. Even as you may try, you might find yourself unable to face certain aspects of the holiday. That is okay. Forgive yourself. You can do this, and you can make mistakes. All you have to do is try, and you have already done your best.
2. Spend Time With Others
The holiday season will feel especially lonely, so you’ll want to do all you can to spend time with others. Hopefully, you can fly or drive to spend time with family members, and if you can’t, invite them to visit you.
Of course, there may be times when your family is unavailable. In these cases, arrange to spend the holidays with friends or a neighbor. If all else fails, contact your local church or community center, which may be setting up something for the holiday season. You can also look into adopting a needy family through various charities in your city.
Related: How to Deal With Loneliness During the Holiday Season
3. Don’t Cancel the Holiday
Although you may be sad and feel like not celebrating, this is not what your loved one would want. Do your best to still enjoy the holiday, and remember that your family member is watching you with a smile on their face from wherever they are.
4. Volunteer Your Time
Volunteer work can do wonders when it comes to managing grief. Spend this holiday season volunteering yourself in various locations. Local homeless shelters and churches often have positions available. Additionally, you can ring bells for the Salvation Army or even see about volunteering for a local hospital.
No matter what your capabilities, the people you serve will be so happy to see you and you will be able to feel as if you are doing something meaningful–even as you continue your grieving process.
5. Create New Traditions
If it is just too painful to continue your old traditions, consider starting a new one with remaining friends and family members. But, if you don’t want to stop a previous tradition, don’t feel like you have to, as you can always add a new tradition on top of the old. There are no rules for how to carry out traditions after a loss, so do what makes you feel best.
6. Allow Yourself to Continue Grieving
Just because you are spending time with family and friends doesn’t mean you have to hide your grief. Chances are, they are hurting too, and you can help each other through the grieving process together.
7. Take Care Of Yourself Physically
It’s the holidays, but that doesn’t mean you should stop taking care of yourself. Even though it is hard, keep yourself in a routine of eating healthy and exercising, it’s what the person you lost would want if they were still here.
Related: Healthy Eating Hacks for Seniors
8. Take Time to Journal
One of the best practices for healing from grief is journaling. Whenever you have downtime this holiday season, sit down and write out your feelings. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel. If you can’t find the words to express your feelings, you can also write a story about your loved one–even just the act of writing can help you feel better.
Overall, we aren’t going to lie and say the holidays after a loss are easy because they are not. But there are several coping mechanisms you can use to deal with your loss this holiday season. If you, or a relative, find yourself in a mental health crisis, call 911 or 988 for immediate help.
Planning to travel this holiday season? Check out our tips for traveling during the holidays.
